Karrin's Crazy World

Saturday, May 08, 2021

Slow Sunday Stitching, Happy Mother's Day


Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.  Today for Mother's Day my two daughters and families are taking me to Half Moon Bay for a day at the beach and lunch.  It will be about a 3 hour drive each way, so a long day, but I plan to enjoy every single minute.  I am riding over with my one daughter and husband, and two grandsons, and maybe a girlfriend.  It has been over three years since I have been able to breath in the ocean air.  

My brother-in-law Roger left on Friday night.  We spent the week going through John's things.  In the closet drawers John had 32 pairs of cargo shorts.  We divided his tee shirts and sweatshirts amongst my son-in-law and two grandsons.  Two of John's favorite jackets I am having relined for them as the lining was frayed.

Today I went through 2 cabinets that John had different things in.  They contained 3 broken printers, 2 VHS movie players, numerous cables, speakers.  Then there were the boxes of paperwork with numerous resumes and cover letters going back to 1981.  There were numerous orientation booklets for various jobs, trade fairs he worked at when he was selling laboratory, medical equipment and fermenters for bioresearch.  

My girls gave me this urn to put John's ashes in.  It is just beautiful.

Grandson Keaton broke a a finger this week during La Cross.  So he will be sitting out the rest of the season plus water polo.

While binge-watching the History Channel and Science Channel this week with BIL Roger, I finished Kyleigh's starfish washcloth.

And I started a whale one.  

I will be linking up with Kathy's Quilts for Slow Sunday Stitching.  Head on over and and check out what everyone has been doing.  I will probably be checking out everyone's blog when I get back from my big day at the beach. 

Thanks for stopping by!  



I'm checking in for what I have done for Hands2Help so for 2021.   This is being coordinated by by Sarah @Confessions of a Fabric Addict.    She does such a fabulous job every year of coordinating the charities and sponsors.  Many thanks for all she does!

So far I have these ready to go.  These will be donated to Quilty Hugs for Happy Chemo.

This will be donated to Victoria's Quilts Canada.

I'll be linking up at Confessions of a Fabric Addict.  

Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, May 05, 2021

One Monthly Goal, May


Time to link up One Monthly Goal at Elm Street Quilts for May.  I continue to very much appreciate this monthly motivation and many thanks to Patty for all she does.  

For my One Monthly Goal for May is to make and complete my project for the Fairy Tale Blog Hop, hosted by Joan @ Moosestash Quilting.  I have not yet decided what Fairy Tale I am going to do, but that is my plan for this month, start and finish my Fairy Tale Blog Hop project.  

Linking up to Elm Street Quilts for One monthly Goal.  

Thanks for stopping by!

Saturday, May 01, 2021

Slow Sunday Stitching

I actually finished a couple of things this week while sitting by John's bedside.  I wrote a post here  about the last week of my dear John's life, who passed away on Thursday night.  

I finished my mermaid tail blanket.

I made granddaughter Klara a  unicorn washcloth.  The pattern can be found here.  My knitting is a little rusty, but Klara didn't seem to mind.

What I will be doing this week for Slow Sunday Stitching is working on another washcloth, this time a baby seahorse.  Have just barely started this one.  

I will be linking up at Kathy's Quilts for Slow Sunday Stitching.  Head on over and check out what everyone has been up to.

I would like to thank everyone for the prayers and comforting words during this stressing time for our family.  

Thanks for stopping by!

RIP John Paul, 4/5/43-4/29/21

April 29th, 2021 I said goodbye to my dear husband of 45 years, love of my life and soul mate.  His poor heart just could not take anymore.  My heart is broken, but I know he did the best he could to hang on. 

He started having problems April 1st and was hospitalized till the 12th with urinary tract infection, blood infection, hypertension, and just did not seem to be getting better.  Drs. told me he would steadily get worse, so I requested he come home on Hospice.  We found out when he was admitted to hospice he had cor pulmonale, which is right sided heart failure due to complications of high blood pressure in the pulmonary arteries.  He was never diagnosed with this before, mainly because he only went to doctors if he was totally out of it, fell, or had a UTI.   We thought all the coughing he had been doing the last several years was due to asthma.  

This past week he seemed to be getting steadily worse, stopped eating or drinking on Monday.  Hospice put him on continuous care last Friday night, which meant in actuality that we had help for 8-16 hours a day, but were responsible for the night shift as they were stretched thin on staff.

John's brother would stay with him till midnight and I would get up at midnight and cover till morning.  He stopped being able to speak about this time, would sometimes open his eyes if spoken to.  

Around Tuesday this week, he started having trouble clearing secretions in his throat, and would make a horrible noise trying to do so.  They gave him meds to try to dissolve these.  He had a Fentanyl patch for pain, with liquid pain killers for break through pain.  He started having trouble swallowing these.

Tuesday and Wednesday nights were horrible with him crying out in pain, and trying to clear his secretions.   

Thursday morning Hospice nurse came and put a second Fentanyl patch on, and said they were going to line up more continuous care.  He was nonverbal and continued to cry out in pain, keeping his eyes mostly closed.  

At around 4 pm we finally got a nurse in, and she took some vital signs, and some other things, and pulled out a sheet of paper saying he was showing signs of end of life.  We found out we would not have a nurse again for overnight, so I went to bed at 7 pm to get up at midnight, and then Roger would take over.

About 15 minutes later, Roger came to get me up saying I needed to come out it would be anytime.  Our daughters, Katie and Kristen were here, along with two of our grandsons, Jaeger and Keaton.  We all gathered around him and told him we loved him and giave him hugs.  I stood by and held his hand.   Meanwhile my daughters pulled up a playlist of songs John liked or used to play for me and we played them.  It was so nice listening to tunes as he slowly faded away, I felt sure he was listening.

 Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton

Amazing Grace by Pentatonix

Hallelujah by Pentatonix

How Great Thou Art by Pentatonix and Jennifer Hudson

Don't Think Twice by Bob Dylan  (John played and sang this)

Polly Von by Peter, Paul and Mary (John played and sang this)  

Take Me Home Country Roads (John played and sang this)

Morningside by Neil Diamond (John played and sang this)

Carry You by Ruelle featuring Fleurie

Rocky Road by Peter, Paul and Mary (John played and sang this)

Sea of Love by Cat Power

Sailing by Christopher Cross

While my Guitar Gently Weeps by Paul McCartney

Somewhere over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Play Me by Neil Diamond (John played and sang this)

House of the Rising Son (John played and sang this)

Juliet by Neil Diamond (John played and sang this)

My husband was an amazing and loving man, and wonderful father.   He was a clinical laboratory scientist (he ran the lab tests).  He designed and built most of our furniture.  He built 6 sailboats and 1 houseboat.  We used to sail a 2 -masted 27 sailboat on our local lake and around the state.  He played the guitar and loved to watch movies.  

When they started playing Sailing that night it brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of our sailing around in San Diego and Northern California.  In 1975 we sailed from San Diego to Catalina  and back.  

When we got to Juliet, was when he passed a little before 9 p.m.  This was a song he used to sing to me, as it reminded him of me.  These are the lyrics:

Juliet I've been waitin',
For so long for you to come back
How I, I've been needin' you, Juliet.
Wrapped up all in day dreams,
But daydreams won't fill the night time.
And I'm so glad I found Juliet.
Turn your eyes on me, girl
Wanderin' round inside a grown man
No more than a small boy, sweet Juliet

'Bout to give up tryin'
And there you stood
Without your shoes on
You've gone and loved me, sweet Juliet

These are some of our favorite photos.  John over the years generally shied away from photos, and so more recent ones are few and far between, and he didn't usually smile.  

Thanks for stopping by!

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Slow Sunday Stitching

I have done very little in hand work these past few weeks, with John being hospitalized, and now home with Hospice care.  I did manage to pull out an old crochet UFO this week.  Back about 3-4 years ago, crochet mermaid tail blankets were popular.  I made one for granddaughters Kyleigh and Klara.  Our daughter Kristen decided she wanted one.  Then I started on one for myself.  I found out that my sister-in-law Char wanted one too.  I finished the one I was working on, and gave it to Char.  And then I started another one for myself.  I got about 10 inches done and put it away.  

I pulled it out again this week, couldn't figure out what row I was on exactly and pulled it out and restarted.  I have one more row to go to finish this part of the cocoon/tail, and then I change yarns and am start the fin part next.

I have also been wanting to knit some washcloths, Kathy @Kathy's Quilts has been working with the little sea creatures.  First up though I want to work on this Unicorn for granddaughter Klara.  I just got the purple yarn so I haven't started yet.  This is what it looks like.  I got the pattern at Ravelry, but can't get into my account now for some reason to give the link.  

I will be linking up to Kathy's Quilts for Slow Sunday Stitching,   Head on over and find out what people have been up to.  

As far as John is concerned, Hospice has been here 3-4 days a week.  His brother Roger is here and has been an enormous help.  We had a bit of a scare three nights ago.  I had John on the baby monitor while I went to bed.   I went to bed at 9, and got up to check John to make sure he didn't need his pants changed.  He didn't really respond to me and was dry so I went back to bed.  

About 11:30 I noticed his breathing changed, he would have long pauses (from his sleep apnea), then start snoring really heavy, and as the night went on, after the heavy breathing there was a cough and it sounded like he was choking on secretions.  They sent an RN out about 4:30, and we gave him a breathing treatment, increased his oxygen to 4 liters, and got a prescription for Levsin to decrease secretions.  They also placed him on continuous care and had two shifts come on to help care for him.  We found out they were not able to cover the night shift, so Roger and I split the night staying with him.  

Yesterday morning another nurse came to be with him 8 am- 4 pm but after that they apparently had to cover other patients more serious, so Roger and I split the night again.  I think someone will be coming this morning, but probably the other two shifts are not covered, and I suspect they will put him on regular care with his normal nurses and home health aide on Monday.   If he worsens again I can call someone out to see him emergently.

John has been alternately totally out of it, somewhat aware, and then a little more aware and somewhat  conversant.  Two days he was really out of it, he didn't eat or drink at all, because we were afraid of choking.   Yesterday he was able to have an Ensure for lunch and dinner.  

I took this picture the other day of Roger and John.

That's all I know right now.  Thanks for stopping by!  

Saturday, April 17, 2021

Slow Sunday Stitching, My News

A lot has happened since the last time I checked in.  I have not done much slow stitching or any other kind of stitching.  I thought I would pop in here and let everyone know what is going on.  

The little stitching I have done, and what I might be working on for Slow Sunday Stitching is this tea towel.  I was going to do it for the In the Kitchen Blog Hop coming up soon.  There was no way to transfer the lines to the tea towel, so I used the Sticky Fabric Solvy which you run through the printer, and washes away.  With the weight of the tea towel, and this Solvy, it makes it difficult for me to stitch through.  I have stitched the Back off, and part of the back and head.  

I'll be linking up at Kathy's Quilts for Slow Sunday Stitching.  Head on over and check out what everyone has been working on.

Okay for what has been going on here.  I think the last time I checked in was Easter Sunday.  John was admitted to the hospital April 1st, spent the 5th, his 78th birthday in the hospital, and was released April 12th.   They told me had a urinary tract infection and blood infection, then the blood infection was contamination.  Filled him full of 5 antibiotics, tons of bolus fluids, and his whole body blew up like a balloon.  Did a heart scan to make sure he didn't have a heart infection, did a scan of his liver because his liver function tests were up, but he has a fatty liver and that is nothing new.  He lost the ability to feed himself, is now incontinent.  He is unable to do even more for himself than he was before.  

An interventionalist came into his room on the 11th and told me he was going downhill and wanted to know what the family wanted to do with him.  He was sleeping almost all day.  I was feeding him all three meals.  When they did his scans he had to be fasting after lunch, and they were going to do his scan at 8 pm that night.  I go back in the next day, he is still fasting, there were a bunch of priority ER patients.  He finally got 2 scans about 6 pm the next night and when he got back to his room his dinner was cold, and the kitchen was closed.  He was not responding in any way to recover from this.  One day a neurologist came in to see him while I wasn't there and said there wasn't anything neurological wrong with him, he was just deconditioned.  

If the neurologist had bothered to call me, or come while I was in the room, I could have pointed out that my daughters and I could have pointed out that we had noticed that he has almost all the symptoms of ALS or Lou Gherig's disease, and has been steadily declining for 3 years now.  

I asked if he had less than 6 months to live and they said yes.  I told him I wanted to bring him home with home Hospice, so that was arranged.  I stayed up late 1 night so Hospice could bring in their own bed so  he could come home the next day.  An intake nurse interviewed him and my daughter at the hospital, while one simultaneously interviewed me at home.  

These are part of the discharge instructions I received home from the hospital.  I asked specifically if he had a blood infection, and they said it was a contaminant, he didn't, yet they list bacteremia as a diagnosis.  

These are the diagnoses obtained from the Hospice intake notes.   

The heart failure we knew nothing about. The atherosclerosis we did, he has 6 stents placed a number of years ago.  

Chronic respiratory failure with hypoxia.  He has been coughing really badly for the past three years and we thought it was asthma.  No wonder the inhalers didn't work so great.  

We knew nothing about cor pulmonale until 2 days ago, when I heard the hospice nurse say his diagnosis was cor pulmonale.  I was a medical transcriptionist for 35 years, and I do know this is serious, right-sided heart failure due to complications from high blood pressure in the pulmonary arteries.  

So John is home with Hospice nurse coming in 3 times a week, as well as a Home Health Aid 3 times a week.  I have about 4 days a week I need help in the mornings with.  When he had his hospitalization in November I heard about a resource center that had grants to hire caregivers, and I never took advantage of.   A chaplain came in yesterday, talked to John briefly and then motioned for me to come out in the other room.  He said that I needed to hire help NOW, no looking around, just hire someone to come in the other 4 days.   Most agencies want a minimum of 4 hours, but the social worker found one that will come in for 2 hours.  We are supposed to be evaluated on Monday to see if we qualify.  If we do, we have enough funds to last for 44 two hour visits.  

He also gave me a little booklet that lays out what happens months before death, weeks before death, days before death which is very informative

We are taking it day by day.  I am not able to be able to think about anything, have not sewn anything for 2-1/2 weeks now.  I usually sit by his bedside and read or play my word games.  

He is barely eating anything, or drinking.  His oldest daughter from another marriage came in today and is visiting for several days.  We have been estranged from her for a number of years because of a miscommunication.  She used to just drop by (She lives about 6 hours away).  The last time John saw her he told her to give us some notice she was coming.  She and I talked tonight and she thought he said never come again.  So at least that has been mended somewhat.  She talked to him tonight, and talks about what she always loved doing with him and happier times.  I met John when she was 6 years old, her parents were waiting for the final divorce decree and her mother had moved another guy in.  

John's brother Roger will be flying in on Wednesday.  Our girls are visiting almost every day and spending a few hours.  

So I just wanted everyone to know what I have been up to.  I just can't think about much of anything right now except caring for John and spending time with him.  I'll pop in when I can think straight.  

Below are a few pictures of when I met John, and a few from recent years.  

Thanks for stopping by~!

Monday, April 05, 2021

350 Blocks Report, March


I did a little better in March.  The goal was 31 blocks.  

Pieces of the Past:   5 blocks.  I  assembled the top of this one.  I need to make another row of blocks and put on the outside borders.  This will be grandson Jaeger's graduation quilt.  

Stay at Home Round Robin:  8 blocks.  

Hands All Around Alcotts:  4 blocks.  I decided to make a block of each size, 8" and 12"

Salt and Sand Blog Hop Project:  10 blocks.  I called the whole quilt 10 blocks.

Klara's Doll quilt.  I called this 6 blocks

So I have a total of 33 blocks for March.  I will be linking up at Prairie Moon Quilts.  

Saturday, April 03, 2021

Slow Sunday Stitching, Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone!  Hope you have a good day!  I will be making some au gratin potatoes and having dinner at daughter Kristen's house.  

This week has sped by again.  I have gotten a few things done.  I quilted this top I made for the Salt and Sand Blog Hop, and got the binding sewn down by hand.  

I didn't get any hexies done this week, will talk about that later.  

I got Miss Klara's little doll quilt done for Beatrice, and made a little pillow with  an old sheet of Klara's that had rainbows and unicorns on it.  She came over this afternoon and was quite pleased with it, I think Beatrice was too!  

I got gingko leaves done on my free motion sampler, and started working on the graffiti quilting, but got interrupted on that.  

For Slow Sunday Stitching this week, I will be working on stitching on these tea towels for the In the Kitchen Blog Hop which is coming up in a couple of weeks.  

I will be linking up For Slow Sunday Stitching at Kathy's Quilts.    Thanks so much to Kathy for this continued motivation and place to link up each week!

Now for the rest of my week, which seemed to go to Hell in a handbasket.   

Tuesday grandson Keaton came to spend the day with us.  He is 14, and loves to spend time with his Papa.  I think he also likes the food.  I made pancakes, grilled cheese sandwich and we had meatball sandwiches and homemade potato salad for dinner, as well as Snickerdoodles.   Kristen, his mother hadn't wanted him to spend all day on the computer, and his brother Jaeger was at the lake with his girlfriend's family, so Keaton would have been alone, and happily on the computer all day.

Just before Kristen came to pick Keaton up after work, John got in bed, and told me he was cold.  I put two blankets on him.  He wanted another and another.  He ended up with 4 blankets on and was shivering.  I took his temp and it was 100.3.  The next morning it was the same, but came down later in the day running high 99's.  He slept all day on the 31st.   I was supposed to get my second vaccine that day, but cancelled my appointment as I didn't feel he was safe to leave alone.

Next morning I called advice nurse to try to get a  message to his Dr. to order a urinalysis as he was showing symptoms of having a UTI.  They wanted to talk to him and did, but he talks very slow anymore, and breathes through his mouth and is a heavy breather.  They thought he was in difficulty and said I should call 911, he could be going septic.  I felt he could be too, but his breathing I wasn't worried about because that is the way he breathes on exertion, or trying to talk.  He refused.  I called back again, to try to get a message to his Dr. to order a urinalysis as I had a sterile container at home.  Second time I got a Dr. on the advice line, she briefly talked to him, and advised me harshly to call 911 as I could be putting his life at risk, and I was acting negligently.  He had a mild temp this day, was sleeping all the time, telling me he didn't feel right, and was breathing heavily they thought.  I tried to talk to John again, and he refused to go.

So they set us up with a telephone call with his Dr. at 12:30.  His Dr. ordered the urinalysis, but told John  he needed to go to ER if he got any worse, and John agreed.  

After lunch, John decided he needed to walk down to the bathroom to have a BM, but couldn't get up off the commode after.  His legs were shaking and he could not do his part of pushing up on the handles and standing up.  I put this gait belt we have to try to pull him up, but couldn't.   So I told him this time there was something wrong that needed to be checked out.

We were in the ER from about 1:30 pm till 9:45 pm.  They found he did have a UTI and gave him IV antibiotics, but wanted more observation.  That facility was full so they sent him to a neighboring city that has been doing overflow for our hospital. In the ER, his feet and legs were hanging off the bed at least a foot.  They said they would pay for the ambulance ride to the second facility.  He has a private room, there are no COVID patients on this floor, and the nurses are very kind.

He has been there since April 1st. He is still on observation status, now taking IV Vancomycin.  Apparently 2/3 blood cultures at our facility showed the same organism that was in his urine.  They repeated blood cultures today.  His blood pressure also is way out of control, and they have been trying to bring that down.  He is so weak, he cannot roll to the side by himself.  He was continent several days ago, but doesn't appear to be now, and so they are changing him frequently.  The way he is right now, he will likely be sent to rehab after his infection (s) are treated.  

I will go in again on Sunday when the doctor from our facility makes his rounds.  

One thing that came up on my daughter's Facebook feed this week were these two pictures.  The little guy on the right is my grandson Jaeger, and his friend.  They have been swimming together all these years, and this year they are graduating from high school.  

Hope everyone has a great week!  Thanks for stopping by!